So, today was the last weight in. I’ve lost 47 pounds pre-op. That, in of itself, is awesome. I never restricted anything I ate whatever I wanted just not as MUCH. Literally, I could finish a whole cheesecake in 2 days. Now I have half of a piece of cheesecake. Guess what? I lived.
One thing sucks, though. Got a call from my PCP and found out my thyroid is still hitting the bricks, though not as bad as normal. (TSH of 4.8 is waaaay better than 19) so again slowly but surely getting all those ducks lining up in their little rows. 🦆 🦆 🦆
So from here on out, I’ve completed all the requirements that Blue Cross Blue Shield says that I need to do in order to qualify for surgery. My nutritionist says that they will submit it to insurance for final approval, and then we go from there. I’m so ready for this I can’t even begin to describe it. Slice and dice this old chub. Life’s about to change for this lady. 😁
I hope someone who is wondering about this stuff finds this blog. I’m telling you…. When they told me that I would have to do 6 damn months of nutritional counseling, I thought I would lose my shit. Dude I get it. I’m fat. I know I have a screwed up relationship with food. I’m cutting my damn stomach off. I mean come on… What do I have to see some idiot for 6 months for?
Because it is 100% necessary.
Because it will change your life.
I had no idea what I was doing – at all. I didn’t understand food. I didn’t understand portions. I didn’t understand all the brain work it would take to get to the point where a 3 ounce serving of meat would not sound like a death sentence. When I first started this…back up to the paragraph talking about losing my shit…no way did I even think I knew how unprepared I was for surgery. I would have failed miserably and regained every pound back. What these nutritional visits taught me will follow me the rest of my life. If you’re starting out on this journey DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED. And as fucking frustrating as hearing “it goes by so fast” is…it’s true. It does. I remember thinking “it’s not even hot outside, yet (in May of this year) and I’m supposed to think that this shit will fly by when it won’t be till Christmas until I can even qualify? Fuck this.”
It. Flies. By.
You are working so hard on yourself, you don’t even realize that times ticking down as you are developing a while new relationship with yourself and food. You come out the other side liking yourself more, feeling ashamed so much less.
Hang in there. You got this.